The propaganda even continues to the thermometer in the center of town. There is not a chance that the temperature of -2 C (24 F) is even remotely close. It was closer to -20 by any reasonable estimate.

It was so cold that the bare shoulders and arms of this foolish bride were turning purple.

I wonder if you feel warmer if the government tells you it’s warmer than it actually is. Do you feel better knowing that tomorrow is always forecasted to be even warmer?

Either way, the cold didn’t stop this little girl from having fun feeding the pigeons.

“Hmmm…” he pondered thoughtfully, “There are dumplings and there is fish. Fish is very tasty.”

“We had dumplings yesterday,” I replied. “And, why fish? We’re not near the ocean and the lakes are frozen solid. Any other suggestions?”

“No. Fish is good.”

“Is fish expensive?”

“Maybe 500 kuai.”

“That’s really expensive. I don’t want to pay 500 kuai for lunch. Are you sure there’s nothing other than fish to eat?”

“You speak a little Chinese. Maybe you can get it for half.”

And so we entered the fish restaurant. We sat down at a booth and received curious giggles from the staff. A request for a menu went unanswered. There’s certainly no picture menu.

Eventually we were brought over to a fish tank full of nondescript fish. A random specimen was chosen and proffered.

“There are only two of us. Is there a smaller fish?”

The giant beast was thrown back and a smaller fish was selected in it’s place.

“How much?” I ask.

A random arbitrary amount of money “per jin” was asked*. It seemed like a reasonable amount. A “jin” is an ancient Chinese unit of measurement designed purposefully to confuse shoppers, especially foreigners. A jin might be equivalent to a pound (== 450 g), a kilogram (1,000 g), the old measure of a jin (604 g), the modern equivalent of the traditional jin (600 g), or rounded to a neat 500g.

Being a savvy shopper, I knew what to ask next. “OK. Sounds good,” I say. “How many jin does the fish…” –THWAAK. Before I can finish my question, Maxwell’s wooden club came down upon his head.

Apparently live fish don’t sit still long enough to be weighed on the scale. Dead fish lie on the scale politely like a dead fish.

After a lot of discussion in broken Chinese, we managed to add some vegetables to the order.

After all this effort, what I really needed was a beer. “Do you have beer?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“Can I have a cold beer?”

“No. It’s too cold outside for cold beer.”

Eventually the burner under the table was lit and a giant bowl full of broth, vegetables, and fish was put in the center of the table to simmer.

Much to my surprise, the broth was not oily and was absolutely delicious. With the nod of approval from the owner that the appropriate amount of time had passed, we ate with vigour. The fish was fantastic!

The driver was right; the bill came to half of what he said it would.

Then I read the sign: Liger – Affinity between Lion and Tiger.

So yes, now I can say that I’ve seen a liger.

Note to self: Add ligers wearing capes to evil empire army.

They look cute; until a 200-plus pound tiger stares directly at you and licks its lips.

This pair wins the cutest couple award for holding paws and nuzzling with each other in a secluded corner of one of the cages. I guess this is why the breeding program is so successful.

One of my favourite sculptures was this giant three dimensional piece titled “Trackers on the Volga.” The giant figures come directly out of the picture frame on an epic scale.

Like everything else, scale is what makes some of the sculptures impressive.

Note to self: Add army of snowmen marching in formation to list of evil empire army conscripts.

Hundreds of people on skis wearing capes…

A massive shoot-out on ice skates…

A giant flag waving celebration…

And, absolutely no semblance of a plot at all. If I was fifteen, I definitely would have added explosions.

Note to self: Add skiers wearing capes to list of evil empire army conscripts.

Giant blocks of ice are assembled into epic scale castles. A billion or so neon coloured lights make the location glow from the other side of town.

Why yes, that is a yak. I think the last time I saw a yak was in a book on the alphabet as a small kid. Y is for yo-yo and yak.

Ice slides are fun. It’s been a while since I’ve worn snow pants and played in the cold.

The ice sculptures were remarkably ornate. The refined details of this wedding scene were remarkable.

Grilled lamb on a stick is one of my favourite treats.